


Lunkification

by TumTarum



Category: Donkey Kong Country
Genre: Brain Drain - Freeform, Fat - Freeform, Gay, I promise you those tags are relevant, Lunk Alarm, M/M, Muscles, Transformation, himbofication, mlm, planet fitness - Freeform, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 22:31:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19160299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TumTarum/pseuds/TumTarum
Summary: An unknown force causes a couple at the gym to become two reptilian lunks.





	Lunkification

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to GenerousPortions, for helping me write and refine this story. Without you, the idea for this story would've never existed in the first place.

“I can’t do any more, Roger.”

“No?”

“No. I’m  _ pooped. _ ”

Rob stepped off of the elliptical, breathing heavily. Roger, Rob’s boyfriend, continued exercising on his machine.

“I don’t think I’ll  _ ever  _ get into shape like you, man,” Rob panted. “I have no idea how you do it.”

“Not sure myself,” Roger said. “I just kinda turn off my brain and go.” 

“Turning off your brain? Well, putting it like _that_ makes it sound dangerous. If I asked you what 2 + 2 is, would you not know?” 

The couple laughed. 

Rob stretched his arms and caught a whiff of his own B.O. “Ugh. I think I’m gonna hit the shower. I can’t stand being drenched.”

“Aw, ok. Take your time, man. I usually go for like, half an hour or more. I’ll meet you in the locker room after.” 

Giving his partner a mock salute, Rob headed for the Planet Fitness locker room.

-

While getting dressed, Rob’s clothes seemed to be a little tight. That was normal after a shower, wasn’t it? A frown crossed his lips. So badly he wanted to get into better shape, but he still had that potbelly. It looked bigger than ever. He wondered if all new gym-goers were this critical. It had only been one day, he tried to remind himself. 

Walking back to the ellipticals, Rob couldn’t help but take extra notice of his boyfriend’s physique. He tried to suppress the feelings of jealousy he had - even from a distance, Roger looked impressive. 

Roger seemed so intensely focused that he didn't notice Rob approach. 

“Hey,” Rob greeted. Roger did not respond. Rob raised his voice a little more. “HEY.” Still no response. Rob looked for earbuds in Roger’s ears, but there were none. “HEY!” 

Roger flinched, whipping his head to look at Rob. The elliptical slowed to a stop.

“What’s wrong?” asked a plodding voice coming out of Roger’s mouth.

Rob blinked. That was  _ not  _ Roger’s voice. Yet he had watched Roger’s lips form the words, and the sound couldn’t have come from anywhere else.

“Oh, uh, nothing,” Rob’s eyes drifted down to Roger’s chest. His shirt was stretched over large, bulging pecs. Roger was normally pretty muscular, but this chest was beyond that. His shoulders also seemed broader and meatier than usual. Was this even the right person? It had to be - he was wearing the commemorative shirt from Rob’s sister’s wedding. 

The unfamiliar voice was still bothering Rob. “Would you mind clearing your throat?”

“Uhhhhh, okay…” Roger responded in the same slow voice, leaning his head back. “Here goes…” He started hawking so vigorously he caught the attention of the entire Planet Fitness. Rob buried his face in his hands. 

“Was that what you wanted?” Roger’s voice was still sluggish.

“No!” Rob uncovered his face, blushing wildly in embarrassment. “What were you thinking, causing a scene like that?” 

“Uhhhh… I wasn’t thinking  _ anything. _ ”

“You weren’t think-” Rob’s eyes suddenly widened. He remembered what Roger had said earlier about shutting his brain off. Maybe that wasn’t a joke after all. Rob gasped in horror, stiffening up. “Oh no, Roger! You musta turned off your mind for real while using that there training equipment! Quick! Roger! What’s 2 + 2?” 

“Is it six _? _ ”

“No, it is  _ not _ !”

“... _ twoteen _ ?”

“Ohhh, no,” Rob whimpered. “Your brain really _is_ shut off, isn’t it? If you’re jokin’ around, it’s not funny!” Somehow, Rob felt like he was saying too many words. Was it because Roger was saying so few?  Rob’s throat was even getting a little sore. 

“But I’m  _ not  _ joking,” Roger said, lifting his hands defensively from the elliptical handles. It was then that Rob realized that it was more than just Roger’s brain that was broken. For starters, the handles of the machine had been completely bent, matching the shape of the hollow of Roger’s grip. Secondly, the shirt Roger was wearing was bursting at the seams! The sight of the new bulk was enough to distract Rob from the fact that his own shirt was riding up on his now expanding tummy.

Rob couldn’t make any sense of the events happening around him. What could have possibly caused such drastic changes in his boyfriend? What was he supposed to do now? Why was his head starting to itch so badly? He began scratching his head, but stopped quickly, feeling hair get caught in what he presumed was dry skin on his fingers. He pulled his hand away. Though he felt no pain, he noticed several large wads of hair falling to the floor, causing him to gasp again.

“What’s with all these clumps?” he shouted, jumping backwards and pointing to the hair repeatedly.

“You’re the only Klump I see,” Roger responded. 

Hearing Roger’s new voice saying the word “Klump” made Rob feel as though he should be paying attention. It made so little sense to him that he shook his head wildly, flinging the rest of his hair off in the process. 

“And may I ask… what you mean by that?” Rob choked. He  _ needed  _ clarification. What he really wanted was a fully detailed explanation, but he figured Roger wouldn’t be able to answer  _ that  _ much. Not in his current state. Rob clasped his hands together, awaiting Roger’s answer.

Roger stared at Rob blankly for a few moments before responding. “Dehhh... what was the question again?”

Rob moaned, falling to his knees. Tears started spilling out of his eyes, and he balled his fists. “Why’s it gotta be like this? Everything is all outta whack in this trainin’ facility. Even the way _I’m_ talkin’ feels funny and now I’m just cryin’ like a baby. These ain’t crocodile tears!” 

“But…” Roger said, “you  _ ARE  _ a crocodile. You’re even green.” 

Rob was about to dismiss the latest of Roger’s odd comments until Rob caught sight of his own hand. His entire arm was now covered in glistening yellow-green scales. His body had also changed, his gut even more pronounced, covered with shimmering yellow scales. New round moobs had stretched and tore open his shirt. 

As Rob tried to process everything, a tingling sensation started in his lower back, changing to stiffness. A loud tearing noise pierced the air. His back had extended into a thick tail. It thudded as it hit the ground. 

Rob jumped back to his feet, waving his arms in circles as he struggled to keep balance. Looking over at Roger, he cried, “You’re gettin’ all scaly too!”

Roger looked down at himself. He hadn’t even noticed the blue scales that were rising out from under his skin. The gravity of the situation started becoming apparent to him. 

“ _ Uh-oh, _ ” Roger said, continuing to stare downward. “Why’s the ground getting further away?” His body was becoming more massive still, his torso becoming more triangular, and increasing in height. Another tearing noise signified the growth of a new tail - Roger’s.

“We’ve been cursed! Jinxed! This must be some sorta magic spell!” Rob finally concluded, grabbing onto Roger’s brawny arms. “We’re turnin’ into some sorta giant lizard men!” 

“Why?”

“ _ I don’t know why! _ ” Rob let go of Roger and put his fingers on his temples. He could feel scales forming on his face beneath his fingers. “But uh- what I  _ do  _ know is the kinda thing that usually fixes a curse like this!” 

“What’s that?” 

“True Love’s First Kiss,” Rob stated. “I know we’ve uh, kissed a lot before, but we probably weren’t cursed then! So it’s likely it didn’t count! Pucker up!” 

Roger blinked, quickly puckering his lips. Rob had to jump and grab onto Roger to reach his mouth. As they locked lips, both of their faces suddenly extended outward into snaggle-toothed snouts. Both were pushed backwards into exercise equipment, knocking it over as they fell. 

Rob yelped as his shoes were split open by three clawed toes. “Why didn’t it work?! That’s the thing that usually stops this kinda hocus-pocus!” 

Roger looked dazed. He didn’t seem to notice that his shoes suffered a similar fate as Rob’s, but he did notice the spikes that had emerged from the top of his head. 

“That’s where those went,” Roger said, a pleased grin replacing his blank stare. 

“Well, you sure are takin’ this well, Roger,” Rob sniveled. “Maybe I could learn a thing or two from you about panicking in these sorta supernatural situations.”

“Euuhhh… who’s Roger?”

Rob’s eyes bugged out of his head. “What? Who? You! You’re Roger!” 

“Oh… I thought I was Krusha…” 

“Krusha?!” Rob repeated, the name feeling familiar to his now pointed tongue. “Where’d you get a name like that from? You’re Roger! Roger Evans!” 

“Okay… if you say so.”

Rob was bewildered. Had Krusha - no - Roger- really forgotten about everything? “Think! What were we doin’ just half an hour ago?” 

“Uhhh… I don’t  _ remember  _ what we were doin’ half an hour ago…” 

Rob leaned his head back in defeat. “Ohhhhhh, this is it. It’s just gonna be you, me, and this cold, reptilian future that we’re forced to embrace.” 

A loud alarm sounded off, causing both Rob and Krusha to jump up and stand at attention.

“What was that?” Krusha asked.

Rob recalled the commercials for Planet Fitness he had seen. “Oh, well, that’s just the Lunk Alarm, which goes off when someone in the facility is actin’ like a total-” 

“There you are!” called a sinister voice, catching the attention to the recently-turned lizard men. Standing near the Lunk Alarm button was another crocodile, this one dark green with a prominent yellow belly. A tiny crown sat atop his head, matching a small yet regal cape tied around his neck. Rob felt a chill go down his spine as this man’s veiny left eyeball focused on him.

“It’s no surprise that pushing this so-called ‘LUNK ALARM’ got the attention of the two biggest  _ lunkheads  _ in this building!“ the regal lizard huffed. 

“King K. Rool!” Rob shouted, scrambling to salute. Wait, did he know this guy? Why did he feel such allegiance to this stranger? “What does- what am- what are you-” 

“And  _ WHY,  _ Klump, are you and Krusha standing around... in the  _ NUDE _ ?!” the king boomed, jumping up and down angrily. 

“I uh-” Rob looked down at his naked, scaly self. There was that word, no, that  _ name  _ again. Klump. Was that who he had become? The name seemed to suit his new chunky form. He decided he would accept his new identity. “Well, Your Majesty, it’s kind of a long story, ya see, Krusha and I-” 

“I don’t have  _ time  _ for stories, General Klump!” King K. Rool snarled. “I’ve been searching high and low for you two imbeciles! I’m not going to let you two  _ continue  _ to waste my time!”

“Oh no sir, I would never do that!” Klump said. 

“Well then, MOVE IT!” King K. Rool demanded, stomping his foot. 

As they exited, Klump noticed many other lizards standing around the gym, equipped with blunderbusses, holding the employees at gunpoint. He didn’t recall how he had gotten to this ‘Planet Fitness’ in the first place. He hoped he wouldn’t get this out of line again. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this silly transformation fic.


End file.
